I'm NOT ignoring you....

Really...

Usually when I go this long between posts on my blog it is because I'm out of town on some trip or exciting adventure but not this time.

Seriously, I think I'm living in warp-speed time (is that even a real adjective)... where are the hours, days, weeks going? Unfortunately, the minutes that I have been laying awake at night worrying about all that I need to accomplish in the next 40 or so days go amazingly slow so I have plenty of time to stew, fret and worry in the dark! But the daylight hours at not the same
-- be careful not to blink because it will be tomorrow.

I am not a shopper! I do not like to go to stores just to stroll aimlessly about and expect to run across whatever it is that I'm hoping to find. I never get inspired out shopping; I usually just get confused and frustrated. I much prefer to know exactly what it is I'm looking for and know where to go to most likely find it. Hence, Christmas shopping for present giving is not very enjoyable or at all excitedly anticipated. Why is it that I can only find things that I would like for MYSELF... am I really that self-centered? I think it is just because I know what I would like much better than I know what other people would like. So I spend alot of time before I go shopping coming up with what it is I want to buy for my gift giving. Then when I find what I'm looking for I am WAY excited to make a purchase and spend my money.

Did I mention that I hate to spend money too? Especially in the "cash" form. If I have $100 in cash, I will still use my debit or credit cards or better yet, hope Paul will pay if he is with me. There are certain places that I don't have any problem opening up my wallet and dumping out any form of payment and that is at a quilt shop. I have a hard and fast rule that I NEVER add up how much a quilt costs me to make -- it is my entitlement spending. And groceries, those are in the necessity category so I don't mind spending money there (I just wish someone else would come up with the grocery list).

In a round about way, I'm mostly sharing my anxiety with this upcoming Christmas season. So far I'm still refusing (where possible) to listen to Christmas music. Once again, this is totally unavoidable at the mall and has been since about the middle of October! I am a strict believer in celebrating one holiday at a time so until a week from today, after we have eaten Thanksgiving dinner, I will not be mentally prepared for Christmas. I know I should get an earlier start... I know I need to get an earlier start but it is almost more than I can handle.

The Post Office doesn't help either. The hours are ticking away towards when I need to send my presents off to the out of towners -- or more specifically, the out of countyers. Do you think it is crazy to buy toys made in China that have been shipped here and ship them back to my grandkids in China? That doesn't seem right... but gift cards, US dollars? I'm just not sure what to do with that situation.

Now that I have won you over to my sorry situation, I want you to know that there is good news in my story... and that is why I haven't written sooner this week... I have been having a great time making some really fun projects that have been on my gift giving list. Since Monday morning I have been spending all of my non-office working time making some unique, creative gifts and they are turning out great which is reassuring and confidence building. I am actually multi-holiday tasking by figuring out the Thanksgiving dinner menu while sewing, glueing and planning surprises. Too bad I can't post any photos. Those will have to wait until after the gift giving.

So despite all my sleeplessness, I am building up some enthusiasm for what lies ahead. I just need a clock from when I was a child and was waiting for Christmas... back then, the hours and days drug by so slowly, I thought Christmas would never come!! Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick.........